I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
