So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
