Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
