I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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