Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
