i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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