just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
