He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
