So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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