wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The uberlube is also flammable
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
