We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
