Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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