guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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