I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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