the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think a kid would responsible me up
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
