I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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