I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
