So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
