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Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
don't judge my taste in strippers
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
