is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
