Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
