Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
