eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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