Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
