he thought i was a dude.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
