this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think people are normalizing furries
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
