When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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