Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
