we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
