My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
