C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
