I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The air was thick with penises
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
