how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
