I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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