I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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