I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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