I think I am morally bankrupt
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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