I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
