"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We have started to decorate penises.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
