But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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