you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
