that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
