Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
