She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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