Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you didnt know i had herpes?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
