I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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