My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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