We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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