So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
