there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
