Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
