Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
