I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
handjob tips. give me some.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
